3 fun ideas for the cringe

Because it doesn't have to be so deep

Dear kind mover,

Trying tai chi, karate, or joining a run club? Launched your studio and waiting for people to book? Just walked up to a group conversation? Taking on that role at work? Or simply trying to share your words and art?

When you’re showing up and doing the things, cringe—let’s define as that blend of embarrassment and self-consciousness when you’re seen trying—is never far behind. Just like when we exercise at higher intensities, the burn tells us something is happening.

It’s a natural byproduct of our movement.

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The mood:

bloom in vase | leaf drawing | others unlinked via pinterest; contact for credit or removal

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I recently wrote about how cringe gets in the way and how we can open up space to move anyway. But what does that mean, in practice? Now, this can be very serious and ooey-gooey but you know, it can also be light and fun. In fact, the more we can connect our cringe to things that feel open-hearted, the more we condition ourselves to feel good about trying.

So here are three ideas to play with:

1. Cringe buddy

have a friend who knows you are stretching your creative muscles and can deliberately hype you on whenever you’re leaning into the cringe (that is social support). After all — if you’re going to be seen trying, why not be deliberately seen by someone who cares about you?? Bonus points if they are doing the same (we are automatically motivated when we see others in action — that is part of social modeling).

2. Cringe loyalty punch card

for every cringey opportunity, give yourself a cute little stamp or checkmark, and know these are adding up to show you’re in motion on the things you care about. Make sure to give credit yourself no matter how “small” the situation — in fact, start small — as long as it stirs up that sticky sensation of being seen. Once you hit 10 spots, treat yourself to something nice.

A prototype — let me know if I should make available ;-)

3. Cringe first-aid kit

as much as we recognize the long-term beauty of showing up.. it can still sting like heck in the moment. We may feel disappointed, embarrassed, wildly unhinged, out of sorts. And that’s when a first-aid kit comes in handy. Make a list of things that would help in the short-term whenever the cringe comes up. Think about making it contingent (when x, then y): When I feel _______ (your most tell-tale sign of cringe), I will _______ (take a few deep breaths / remind myself of the why, i.e., what’s really important to me here / ping my buddy who will totally get it / etc).

These aren’t meant to eliminate a feeling but can help you ride through moments when you’re totally ready to do a U-turn.

cringe kit (the kind that would have puffy bandaids that glow in the dark)

Moving through the cringe doesn’t have to be so deep. Because what if cringe is Caring Out Loud, and that is something worth enjoying?

Collect it, gamify it, and don’t do it alone.

What other fun ideas do you have? What goes into your cringe kit?

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Let’s keep moving kindly,

Karm

Reading list:

• A note from artist

  Amie McNee
  , who’s written on cringe — and has a book coming soon: “Five signs you’re doing a really good job of promoting your creations: 1) you feel slightly nauseous all the time 2) you’re almost certain you’re annoying people 3) you feel over exposed 4) you feel repetitive 5) you feel cringe”

Share this with a buddy who gets it.